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    千年綻寂 花開來生

    時間:2010-3-12 22:39:12 點擊:5865


    君生我未生,我生君已老。恨不生同時,日日與君好。 

    君生我未生,我生君已老。君恨我生遲,我恨君生早。

    有時候,看著零散而片段的文字,會莫名的傷感起來。像是在時光的傷口處涌動著一個鮮活的靈魂。為了張揚自己的生命而努力疼痛。盲目的華麗遮掩了入骨的傷口。于是我開始沉溺。沉溺在你給我的天堂。


     

    千 年 
    淡淡蓮兒輕柔一笑。雕花暖裘離水故鄉。 

    千年夢魘中,依稀還是個輕愁未解的女兒。清晨微潤的露珠,秋千在空塵中寂蕩。胭脂清香千種風情,一襲素衣環佩叮當。 

    一朝圣令,我成了權傾天下,不可一世君王的妃。天威赫赫,皇城春宵,天子烙印。我在緊鎖的深宮庭內,寂寞如影隨形。憂傷輕濕薄衣時霧氣環繞,蓮香浮動,剪不去的輕愁,理不斷的哀思。寂寞輪回,彈指哀怨。唱無盡,舞無盡。 

    紅綃帳里,輕風徐徐,薄紗拂面, 君王來臨,簫聲必至,以箏相和。亭臺前那池蓮花兒爭相斗艷,朵朵都似天上仙葩。香花似雨,今落人間。低眉信手,佇立蓮前筑琴而彈,道盡心中九轉情怨。琴聲流動,佛心垂首,微笑閉目,心已為水,漸次悲涼。驚艷如花綻放,遠比嫦娥,靈光寂寂,經傳三世。 

     

    綻 寂 
    物是人非事事休,欲語淚先流。 

    一曲接著一曲。《夜之蓮》在靜夜中詭異盛開。羅裳半扣,雙唇若冰般緊閉。行云流水,難掩眸底的憂郁。回身看龍椅上的王,早已沉睡。憶起前刻,燈火下癡纏的身影,軟枕愛語。肩頭的蓮花兒在溫熱空氣中猙獰妖嬈盛放。一切恍如隔世。 

    執子之手,與子偕老。后宮三千,我如何在你身邊做唯一的一朵蓮花兒。傾盡一生。柔柔水袖,輕觸王堅毅眉角。如癡如迷。如果沒有王,我的疼痛我的淚又會為誰?我終逃不了宿命的纏尾,夜夜恐慌。我輕踮起腳尖躍下閣樓。暗夜寒風中散發著蓮的灰燼味,一朵蓮花兒旋轉半空翩然起舞。絕舞。 

    我。蓮。在亂世兵戈中妖艷綻放,卻也在一瞬火光之中泯滅成灰。成為王的一段回憶

     

    花 開 
    縱是萬縷情絲。須還前世情債。 

    我坐在出租車里看午后街頭兩邊的樹從眼角的陰影里飛快流動。很多光影在身邊流逝。我佇立在人潮洶涌往來的街口眺望。暈眩上升,失去自我的慌亂。亂耳的音樂,滿口污言,看那些男人和女人相互撕扯。我瞬間明白,這座城市浮華下掩蓋著殘缺和潰爛。 

    我不停的行走,在淺淺的憂傷纏綿里,千年的夢魘如影隨行,淡成遠遠的記憶。像是蝴蝶輕拍羽翼,回旋飛舞。 

    我說。在網絡里每個人都是虛幻的靈魂,絕對的真實,又絕對的虛假。絕望空洞迷惘的眼神背后滿是‖激‖情‖欲望。輕微觸到傷口,溫柔的疼痛后會驚訝世上有這些和你呼吸同樣空氣的人。因為落寞長久所以需要尋找一個理解自己的人。找到的感覺真好。哪怕有一絲疼痛,有一絲風。就像是兩條平行線,永遠不交織,但是永遠有相同之處。說這些話的時候,一直在聽許巍的歌。這個自由放蕩的男人。我喜歡他的自由,喜歡他的隨心,喜歡他的飄泊和無奈。心里空空的,我在浪費青春,可是青春一刻不停。 

    他是一個我幻想來的人。我堅信我們糾結在一個無限的輪回之中。花兒殘落,永遠無法蛻變的承諾。 

    他來了,他來了,他來與我相約。我告訴自己他是我等的人。我的前生。在他跟我說話的時候,我用一個決絕的姿勢,抬頭四十五度,仰望幸福。感情像一種潮濕的植物,在暗夜里瘋狂的生長。 

    我清醒的知道。有些故事永遠不會有結局,永遠無法繼續。我們之間只是一段若遠若近的空白,一個欲言又止的凝望。我卻甘心沉溺。于是,在還沒有注定遺憾登岸時,趁溫暖,趁還在。我寫字給他。在水中,一邊寫,一邊消失。我張揚微笑,輕撫心臟,思念倒塌,濺落的塵埃在我眼里久久不散。我知道總有一天,在那個失去他的地方,我要學會隱藏悲傷。發著呆,忘記他,閉上眼。 

    夜里睡著睡著突然驚醒。想念的時候,失眠的時候,疼痛的時候。起來喝水。冰涼的純凈水。我習慣冰涼。赤著腳在冰冷的地板上走來。走去。累了就坐在地上,全身蕭瑟。身子覺得微涼,有一絲寒意。想著在這個水泥建筑堆砌起來的城市里經過的人和事,陌生的眼臉,暖徹的表情。想著他無關的疼癢刺痛著自己的心肺,我看到了一朵青蓮含苞待放,沒有萎謝。 

    來 世 

    君生我未生,我生君已老。恨不生同時,日日與君好。 

    君生我未生,我生君已老。君恨我生遲,我恨君生早。 
    聽說這是題在一個唐代古瓷壺上的詩句,作者和年代都不可考證。初讀的時候,為這古老的愛情故事,千古未絕的恨而心中百轉千回。 

    “問蓮根有絲多少,蓮心為誰苦?雙花脈脈嬌相向,只是舊家兒女。……” 

     

    紅藕香殘玉簟秋,輕解羅裳,獨上蘭舟。 

    云中誰寄錦書來?雁字回時,月滿西樓。 

    花自飄零水自流,一種相思,兩處閑愁。 

    此情無處可消愁,才下眉頭,卻上心頭。 
    總是喜歡這憂愁脫俗字句里的絕望。讓我知道我在長大。我聽見歲月撕裂青春的聲音,那聲音仿佛就在頭上流光異彩。走到盡頭。只是一場華麗的海市蜃樓,我卻義無反顧醉生夢死。猶如飛蛾撲火。城市的上空總會有展不開的淡香,好像夢魘中拂不去的蓮花兒。在喧囂中開出寂寞的花朵。 

    我跟他,像是一個棋局中兩個對奕人。無聲的棋盤交織出傷感的路線,像千瘡百孔的傷感輪回。明知結局卻誰也無法舍身離去。思念死在沼澤里。留下花開一夜的軌跡。我常常想著,紅顏已逝,白發蒼蒼。暮色將晚,我將要離開這個世界,蜷縮的身體停靠的歸宿是在你的懷里。即便喝下奈何橋邊那碗遺忘前世的孟婆湯。來生,我愿心似琉璃,做你懷抱里的幸福女子。帶著前世的芬芳。


    .

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